In the last blog I spoke on the cost of destructive harvests. I told of choosing to build with fear and how I was given a picture of standing before a FAITHFUL God and all that I had built in fear burned up. During that time I had experienced the regret of living a Christian life, but not trusting God with my life. I did not know how to let Him lead me. I was led by fear. I knew I had to learn to take each of those fears to Jesus Christ and trust Him.
It is hard to face those fears and our sins that have kept us bound for so long. BUT I knew if I did not change these destructive harvests I would have remorse over not trusting HIM. In order to change that reality, I surrendered and I trusted God as I took His hand. I recognized the prison cell that I chose to be in and I hated it. I saw a glimpse of His freedom and I could taste it… I wanted His FREEDOM in my life. I knew He was FAITHFUL. I knew intellectually that I could trust Him though my heart did not learn to trust Him yet… this would be a process of unlearning everything that I knew.
God began to take every opportunity show me areas that I was not trusting Him. He and I together worked through every issue. Sometimes I felt so vulnerable that it hurt. He gave me inner strength and courage to face my fears. He gave me Scriptures that helped me to KNOW He was working in me, for me and through me. He also gave me friends to walk with and even counsel me when I needed it. I learned to trust Him and let Him change me. Change sometimes hurts but I would rather hurt right now than to have the regret of a life unchanged when I got to heaven.
During this process of uprooting my destructive harvest, I remember telling myself to “EMBRACE THE PAIN!” Meaning, I would tell myself, "Dawn because you feel pain does not mean that you get to pull back, it means that you must go through; embracing the pain. Persevere through until you get God's answer for you, God’s faith in your situation and God’s strength to overcome and to walk in a way that is faithful. Embracing the pain will bring you into His freedom."
This mentality of letting God into every area of my heart and learning to trust Him even when it hurt changed my life. I was learning not to pull back, self-protect, give into fear or do things in my own strength. As I entrusted my heart and life to God, I got to know firsthand His unconditional love. I was learning how to hear His voice and respond to His gentle hand as He led me. I let my guard down. By trust, I learned to walk with Him. Though many times my journey felt like 3 steps forward and 2 steps back, He has proven time and time again that He is FAITHFUL!!!
Let's fast-forward about 15 to 18 years. Just recently as I was preparing for these blogs, I felt God wanted to teach me in Galatians 5 & 6. I opened up the Bible. He taught me for six hours! It felt like there was a fountain of fire hydrant force coming from within my Spirit pouring out as I followed His lead for six hours. It was amazing to me. He would put a Scripture on my mind. As I was turning to that scripture, it seemed as though I would see other scriptures that would jump off the page to me. It would be exactly what was meant to be written next. I wrote 17 full pages of notes (which will be future blogs.) I tell you I was amazed by God.
He truly is our greatest Gift and our Reward beyond measure.
After I was taught by God, I obediently went down to my treadmill. (I feel that God has called me to work-out and worship Him, 4-5 days a week) As I worshipped Him, I had to get on my face and thank Him for the teaching He had given me and for the closeness that I was still so full of.
It was there that I encountered another picture: In the midst of my worship, full of Him, lying face down with my head resting on my arms, I saw Christ walking about three paces from me. The look on his face was a loving look of acceptance and of understanding. I could see through the expression on His face, that He knew how tired I was. But I felt certain that He was pleased with me. The look on His face just welcomed me and communicated that He knew the life I lived for Him. His arms reached towards me as we walked the three paces towards one another. He embraced me. I laid my head in the crook of his neck and I was so comforted by the love of Jesus. I cried because, like a runner exhausted from the race. I knew I had NOT run my race in vain. I ran for Him, it was over and I was home.
After I saw that picture I cried out these words in a prayer for the first time ever in my life, "Lord let me be tired when I get to heaven because I left it ALL here."
Those are two extremes in my life. The first picture, in the last blog part 1, shows a life that I was living that was full of myself, sowing fearful, selfish seeds of the flesh in order to protect myself. I only had harvests of destruction and when I came to Christ all that I had sown burned up. But the good news is that with Christ, I was able to uproot that destructive harvest; till the soil and replant seeds that please the Spirit. I learned to live my life for Him and that produced a harvest that did not burn up. My life has now been marked by the power of God, the love of God, and by faith and obedience. If God can transform my life, He can transform yours.
It is overwhelming to think that I could have thwarted His plans for my life by being led astray by what pleased my flesh because I was too afraid to trust God. I was too fearful to change and entrust with my future to Him. BUT by the grace of God, I changed. I chose to change. I chose to take the Creators hand and then say, “REMOVE from me every destructive way, will, thought or idea that is in me.”
Will you ask God to uproot and remove every destructive way that is in you? Let’s build with the gold of His love, the silver of faith and trust, and the costly stones of obedience. Because we know there is a cost to a destructive harvest and I am not willing to pay its high price of lost reward. Let’s live in a way that we look forward to seeing our FAITHFUL Savior who awaits us with open arms of love! The choice is ours, moment-by-moment and issue-by-issue.
I love you, together Let’s Live for His Glory!